Bye bye 2010

The year is just about over. This year felt long. I did so much that it seemed like 3 years rolled into one, but I couldn't be happier about it all. Here are my 2010 highlights!

• The year started off crappy with me starting to dislike my old job, but I quickly took matters into my hands (after crying and whining about it) and found a new job that I now love. I've learned so much about event planning for fundraising events. I worked on our golf tournament and another fundraiser that's been going on for 24 years! I'm so grateful to a part of it all. What I do is so rewarding and it makes me smile knowing that what I do matters.
• "In New York! Where concrete jungles are made of." I heart NY! It was a super fun trip and I have dreams about going back.
• My parents came to visit me for the first time. I think they can rest peacefully at night now. They got to meet Brett's parents, see where I live, and see that Brett takes great care of me.
• The BIG 2-5!!
  
• Birthday hot air balloon ride! I have the cheesiest smile when I think about it.
  
• First flippin' worse hangover ever! I threw up like once an hour for 6 hours straight. Never pushing my limits again, but now I feel like a big girl. LOL!
• My friends and I went to visit my other friend in Santa Cruz. It was my first time there and we all had a great time. Can't wait till summer again so we can play three-flys-up again at the beach!
• First time clubbing on Halloween. It was crazy! A fight broke out right in front of us.
• Brett and I have had our house for a year now. Even though I knew we wouldn't have financial troubles with it, it's nice to know that we made it through a year. And I still LOVE my house.

That's a lot of amazing things in one year! Thanks for being good to me 2010. Here's to 2011! Cheers!

Hey you! Stop that!

So since one of my previous posts about recurring-ish dreams, I haven't had the same "theme" dream till last night. It seemed real, like it could really happen kind of thing. And about 10 seconds into it, after I let my emotions get to me, I realized that I was dreaming and *poof* the dream stopped. That was weird. It's like I had a remote and pushed the off button. It was like I was telling myself "Hey you! Stop that! Don't let this dream get the best of you, because it's just a dream. Not real life. So there's no reason to let these feelings get to you." But once again, I feel stupid that I can't stop thinking about it and that I have dreams about it. AHHHH!!! So frustrating!

SF Giants = World Series Champs!

I wish I was in SF right now so that I could watch the parade. I know it's crazy, but I want to drown in a sea of people in black and orange.

I'm so proud of the Giants. I admit that I wasn't a fan until I moved to California 5 years ago, and that the only reason I got into it was because Brett has been a lifelong fan. But there aren't any teams in Hawaii. I was always a University of Hawaii fan, because that's who everyone rooted for, the local team. I didn't know much about baseball 5 years ago, but I've learned a lot and truly enjoy watching it. I even gave softball a chance because I thought I would like to play something that I watch. I like it. I'm just REALLY bad at it.

We always watch games and have been to a few each season for the past 4 or 5 years. This season, Brett and I watched 100+ games and attended a few. We've been disappointed by their losses and elated with their wins. We've watched them struggle and then make some of the most difficult plays look effortless. I know the players names, which has NEVER happened with any sport that I've watched. I came up with little nicknames and chants for some players. If they're batting, I make sure I say their nickname or chant, in case it's good luck. Hahahaha! I know that's weird, but I guess that's what fans are (not fair weather fans! not gonna get into that!).

Brett emailed me this article yesterday, and I almost teared up. I've become so attached to the Giants because I watched so many games, that I feel a little emotional of what they accomplished. Like tha article says, "a group of castoffs and misfits," but they fit perfectly into the team and work well together. I'm so happy that Edgar Renteria was named MVP... especially since he was thinking about retirement earlier this year. Oh I'm just so happy for them! Just read the article! Congrats San Francisco Giants!

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed

Okay, so there weren't any monkeys or jumping.

Brett likes to pick me up and throw me around because he's almost twice my weight, so it's easy for him to do. We were watching TV on our bed last night and he decided that he would threaten to throw me off the bed. He wrapped his arms around me, rolled me over him, and started rocking back and forth on his back and telling me that I was going to fall. He rocked a little too far toward the edge, lost his balance, and we both fell off the bed. I started laughing and he says "ow." Part of our wall sticks out, like a pillar, and he scrapped his thigh againt the corner. He also fell on his arm. The sweet part (yeah, there's a sweet part in all this crazy madness!) after he said "ow" he looked up at me with a little pain in his eyes, and said "Did I save you?" I just thought he broke my fall because I was on top. I looked at where I landed... just away from the part of the wall that sticks out and I was sitting right outside the doorway of our bathroom, away from the wall. As we were falling, he had time to process all this in his head, and found a safe place for me. If it were me, I would just panic and fall. Which I actually did. This was like his second attempt to play around with me and scare me about falling last night. The first time, I shifted my weight toward the wall and fell on my own. Yeah, that's how I panic and make things worse! I just thought it was sweet that he thought about protecting me... even though it was his fault that we fell. It's still hilarious that he fell with me, got hurt, and I left without a scrape, but that's thanks to him too.

Not So Sweet Dreams

I've never had recurring dreams before, but lately I've been having dreams with the same message. I've had 4 (that I remember) in less than 6 months. I'm happy in my dreams, like verge of tears happy, but when I wake up and realize it's not real, I feel sad and disappointed. I wish these dreams would go away because it's just a reminder of what an idiot I'm being.

Hello Fall!

It was in the upper 90's to low 100's last week, but it actually feels like Fall today. It's a bit chilly outside, but I like it. I'm looking forward to the leaves changing. I'm sad to see Summer go, especially since I didn't get to enjoy it like I did before. I guess I have to get used to not having a pool. Oh well.

I went to wedding #4 of 4 this year on Saturday. I teared up at the 3 other weddings, but became a blubbering baby at this one. It was a Punjabi wedding for one of my old coworkers. She looked so gorgeous in her traditional wedding dress. Everything was so extravagant and beautiful. During their first dance, I burst into tears. They were just holding hands and stepping from left to right. It was so sweet and innocent. This was probably the 3rd or 4th time they've seen each other because it was sort of an arranged marriage, but they talked on the phone like all the time. I'm sure that just holding hands sent tingles down their spines because it's practically new. I remember the first time Brett held my hand... I blushed and probably had the biggest, goofiest smile on my face. I'm just so happy for her. I remember the times when she came to me to vent, advice, and the unfortunate tears over heartbreaks. It's great to see her happy and that she found someone that will love and care for her. After their first dance, they asked couples to join them. Brett and I went up and I stopped crying until I looked over at the new couple toward the end of the song. They were dancing closer and finally looked comfortable in each other's arms. I saw their love and new step in their relationship blossom right in front of my eyes.

Brett left for his first work trip today. He's in New Mexico at the Los Alamos National Laboratory. What a neat experience. I wish I got to travel a little for my job. I hope I don't have to get used to it though. I really can't remember the last time I spent a night without Brett, and have never been in our house by myself. I'm a little scared... not that our house is a mansion, but it's big enough to where I don't care to be alone. I didn't even tell Brett that I was afraid to be in our house by myself, but yesterday, he reminded me to turn on the alarm when I got home. I thought that was sweet. I'm sure he sensed my uneasyness.

I know Brett and I won't be getting married anytime soon, but after the 4 weddings I attended this year, his brother's next year, and his brother's fiance giving me bridal magazines to look at, I can't help but think about what I would want at mine. The more I think about it now, the more we can hit the ground running after the proposal, right? ;) But, thanks to Pandora, I have fallen in love with this song. It probably won't be our first dance song or walking down the aisle song (maybe instumental version), but maybe the song I would want when I ask all the other couples to join us.

Ooo Shiny

Brett recently gave me a new nickname. It's "Terisa Ooo Shiny." He's making fun of my attraction to shiny things. I'm a girly girl, so what? I like it and think it's cute. *giggles*

Best. Birthday. Ever.

I tuned 25 at the end of July and it was probably the best. birthday. ever. I told Brett that I wanted to take the day off and go on a hot air balloon ride. I thought I was going to have to make all the arrangements, but Brett did it all. He researched all the companies we could've gone with and picked what he thought was best. I have the best boyfriend. =)

So on the day of the balloon ride, we work up at 3 a.m. to drive to Napa. We had to be there by 5:30 a.m. We found out that the wind and fog was preventing us from flying over Napa and I was a little disappointed. We were going to fly over Winters instead. We could've left, but we were already there so I thought we should just go. I'm glad that I didn't leave because it was such a great experience! Sure you can see the same thing from the plane, but there's nothing like being in the open and up in the air, breathing in the crisp, fresh morning air, and shivering on the ground then warmed up by the flame of the balloon. It was a wonderful experience and I can't even describe how happy it made me.

Then on the weekend, we went to SF to party hardy! It was my first time clubbing there so I was just hoping for the best. My friends and I got a hotel room so that we would've have to worry about driving. I'm so thankful that I have such wonderful friends that wanted to celebrate with me. We had a blast and I got so wasted. I pushed my limits and had 5 1/2 shots (maybe more?) I totally paid for it the next day and it weakened my immune system and I've had the worse cold of my life for a little over a week now, but it was worth it! I'll never drink that much again, but I had to do it at least once in my life. I'm always really cautious about how many drinks I had, and this time I just didn't want to worry or think about it. I don't know how I managed to get out of my head.

Thank you to everyone that made my birthday such a memorable and fun one! I smile just thinking about it.

What Not to Wear

Went to a wedding this weekend and it was pretty good. I was worried that I was overdressed... which I was a little. I wore a Chinese dress with a mandarin collar. Because of the collar, I went and got it done in an updo. I may have been overdressed, but at least I didn't look like a slut. There was this girl that was wearing this white halter dress that was skin tight. It had a wide band on the bottom that just reached the bottom of her butt. It was more of a clubbing dress. She had on white panties that gave her some slight rolls and bumps. If you're going to wear a skin tight white dress, wear a slip, or if you're wearing a dress that is short enough to be a shirt, wear some tights. It's a wedding, have some class. Then again, the Mother of the Bride was wearing a cheap bright pink, backless prom dress. Maybe I just didn't get the memo.

Note to self...

...Try harder to keep up with my workout routine. I was doing pretty well with exercising and was really proud of myself when I realized my stamina was up. Then I stopped for about 3 weeks and got back into it yesterday. Goodness, I was dying! I was so disappointed in myself when I couldn't last as long as before. I didn't regress that much, but it was still sad. It's hard work and I sweat bullets along the way, but I always feel great afterwards. I always feel happy that I did something instead of sitting on the couch!

Never good enough

Before my parents decided to come and visit me, I have to admit that they were kind of pissing me off with questions about Brett and I getting married. My mom bugs me about it all. the. time. but my dad asked me about it for the first time about a month ago. He said that we're getting old and that there isn't a reason for us not to. Well, we need money to have a wedding, and we kinda just spent most of it on a house, DAD! If I had known that my parents would bug us more about marriage after we bought a house, I would've kept it a secret or something. It's kinda like "Congratulations on such a great accomplishment at such a young age, but you two really should get married NOW." They're proud of me, I'm sure of that, but why must they ALWAYS focus on the negative?

Brett and I decided to buy a house because it was a good time to buy and we didn't want to live in our tiny one bedroom apartment anymore. It was actually Brett's idea. I thought about buying a house, but some time in the future because I didn't think I could do it. Brett suggesting that WE buy a house, is one of the sweetest things he has done for me. It was his way of saying that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and thought that we were ready to share our finances (even though we kinda did that last part already). He wanted to give me a place to call home. Before we bought our house, the only place I called "home" was Hawaii. Sure, we had a place to live in, but it was always temporary. In his own way, he told me that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together and have a place for us to grow old together. To me, that's sweeter than spending all the money we had so that he could put a ring on my finger and have a wedding, and still be stuck in a teeny tiny apartment. We live like we're married, we just haven't signed papers to make it official, but what's the rush? It takes quite a level of maturity to realize that you're committed to someone and live as one unselfishly. I wish my parents would see that. But nothing ever seems good enough.

It took me a while to not care about what others think of me, but I still care about what my parents think. I've always wanted their approval and praise. I always admired the fact that my older brother didn't want their praise like I did. I wish I could be more like him in that way. It bothered me when my straight A's and awards didn't seem to mean much. I got into an argument with my dad about that when I was about 18. He told me that parents don't give their children praise because they want them to always do better. Okay, I understand that... I want to strive to be better too, but what am I supposed to do when I feel like I've already done my best and it's still not good enough? Hmm... like buying a house at age 24 with someone who loves me and wants to be with me??!! I know they're proud and they have told me that they're happy for me. It just feels like they're raining on my parade by jumping to something negative so quickly.

It's not that I don't want to get married. I would like to, but we're still settling into our house and I would like to take one big step at a time. I don't want to just go to a courthouse and sign some papers. I want a wedding. I want to wear a white dress, and for once, won't care that all eyes are one me. That day will come when it comes. My parents will just have to be patient until then and I have to try hard not to let their comments get to me.

Homesick No More

My parents came to visit me, and broght me all kind of goodies to boot! It was very last minute and I didn't see it coming at all, but I'm so happy that they were able to get away from work to see me. It was a short visit. They only stayed for 4 full days, but that's better than nothing. I got pretty annoyed with them sometimes. They question everything I do or the way I do it. I tried not to be so snippy, but it was hard. But that's just how we are.
They are the most selfless people I know. Everything they did was ALWAYS for me and my brother. They never buy anything for themselves, and when they do, they seem to feel guilty about it. I look selfish next to them, and could never be like them. I know it's just the culture and that they were brought up to be that way, but I still admire them for everything they have done for me.
I hope they worry about me less now that they have seen where I live. They see why Brett and I fell in love with our house and bought it. They also got to meet Brett's family. It's too bad that my parents speak little to no English and couldn't converse with them. My parents commented on how neat and organized my house is. I told them that it's mostly Brett's doing. I hope they feel better about me living across the ocean from them. I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me.
Oh! and...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the one who makes me smile and laugh like no one else can, the one who "makes sense of madness when my sanity hangs by a thread," the one who gave me a place to call home in California. My Superman (because people thinks he looks like Clark Kent), my Iron Man (the meaning of his Japanese name), and the root of my happiness, Brett. I love you. Happy Birthday!

Homesick Part II

I really want to see my family. Unfortunately, I don't have much vacation time saved up yet, and my parents' plans of visiting me are up in the air right now. Boo.

I had a dream last night that my parents, my cousins, and their 2 little girls, Natalie and Nicole, came to visit me. It felt so real. In my dream, my house looked just like it does in real life. I showed them to the guest bedroom and around the house. The only faces that I could see clearly were Natalie's and Nicole's. Their bright, smiling faces, running around my house as they explored. Then I woke up... only to find myself alone in the guest bedroom. I've been sleeping in there so that I don't get Brett sick.

It makes me sad that I don't get to see Natalie and Nicole grow up. I went from seeing them every day, to just once a year. They will always be ages 2 and 3 in my heart, because that's how old they were when I left. Kinda pathetic, huh?

Homesick

I haven't been feeling well for the past day or so. Boo. =( I wish my mommy was here to take care of me. I used to try to hide it from my mom when I was sick because I didn't want her to worry. It worked too. If she was here right now, I wouldn't pretend. I would tell her I'm sick and have her make me some Chinese rice porridge. My mom didn't do too much for me when I was sick besides make me what I want to eat, but that's all I needed. I liked it when she would quietly come into my room and check on me. I would pretend that I was asleep so she wouldn't ask me if I needed a million things. LOL! I think I'm just feeling homesick in general. I wish my parents would figure out their plans and visit me! I miss them.

New York New York

I got back from New York about a week ago. It was AMAZING!!! I want to go back. In fact, I wish I was there right now. My friends and I rented an apartment that was only a few blocks away from Times Square. It was only about a block away from the Hell's Kitchen area, but we didn't realize that until our last night there. How sad. We went to an Italian restaurant called Pietrasanta, and it was fantastic! Now that I've done all the touristy things, I want to go back and eat at all the yummy looking restaurants. I also want to go to a coffee shop called Joe's. My friend went to get some coffee when the rest of us went to get something at a store. I usually don't like black coffee, but I had a sip and it was soooo good!

We went to an outdoor rooftop club/lounge called 230 Fifth and I loved it! We got there around 11:30 p.m. or so and of course there was a line. We were in line for about 10-15 minutes when one of the bouncers tapped Brett on the shoulder and asked how many of us there were and told us to follow him. We totally cut in front of like 20+ people. Hahaha! I felt so special! Brett said that some lady totally gave him a dirty look as we walked passed. It's nice to have a good looking group of friends!

We explored some non-touristy parts. Thanks to one of Brett's friends that lives in NY, of course. He told us about some bars that had good happy hour specials. It was a great place for us to relax and chat. And one of the bartenders was super funny. My friend asked for a maitai and she said "I'm not making that for you. It's gay!" We also went to a bar called Niagra. It had Yoshitomo Nara's artwork there. That was so cool.

My only complaint is the Statue of Liberty. We spent about 3 hours there, but only did about 30 minutes of sight seeing. The rest was spent standing in line! We went through airport-like security, but slower, and TWICE! The only thing that was different was that we didn't have to take off our shoes. It was such a waste of time. We could've been doing other things! I think it isn't worth it unless you get to go up to the crown, which we didn't. Those tickets get sold out waaaay in advance. If you don't have those tickets, just take the Staten Island Ferry. It goes right past the Statue of Liberty. The sucky-ist part was that Brett had to give up his Swiss Army knife. He didn't realize that he had it in his pocket until we were about to walk through the metal detectors. Even if he had realized that ahead of time, there wasn't anywhere to put it except for hiding it in the park or something. They wouldn't give it back at the end even though they knew it was an innocent mistake. I understand that at the airport it's different. People know what not to take with them, but this was the Statue of Liberty! Tourists don't know what to expect and what they shouldn't bring with them! I gave Brett that knife for his birthday about 3 years ago. I think it was like the second birthday we were celebrating since we were together. We had a conversation about 6 months before his birthday and he told me that he wanted a Swiss Army knife. He forgot that he had told me that too, so he was very happy when I got it for him. It wasn't a small knife with just like 3 tools. It was a big one that had practically everything! Now one of the security people that works at the Statue of Liberty probably has it. They probably get to go through all the stuff and take what they want. What else would they do with it? I was so sad and upset that I had to turn away from my friends because I wanted to cry. Plus, we wasted so much time there that me and my girl friends didn't get to go shopping! It was our last day there so we really ran out of time.

It was still a good trip. I went to Vegas last summer and thought I wanted to go back. I would rather go to NY. The only souvenir I bought was an I Heart NY shirt. It makes me smile when I put it on.

What's in a name?

I never liked my name when I was younger... I don't know why. As I got older, I liked it more. My first name is misspelled and I like it because it makes me unique. People misspell and mispronounce it all the time, but I don't care anymore. Plus I like dotting my i's with little circles.
My middle name is Yuk Kwan. It's not the nicest sounding, but I like the meaning. In Chinese, Yuk, means jade and Kwan, means lord. The Kwan part is usually a boy's name. When my parents first named me, I had a different Kwan (I don't know the meaning of that one). My grandma in China went to the Buddhist temple and got a fortune for me. It said that the Kwan I had in my name wasn't strong enough. I don't know if it means I needed a better name to make me stronger, or that I'm already strong and therefore the first meaning was too wimpy or something. Anyway, that is how I ended up with a boy's name. I guess it could mean Jade Lordess instead.
My name just can't really be made into something cutesy or be shortened, so no one gave me a nickname until recently. Brett's nephew was about 1 and a half and it was the first time I saw him since his first birthday. Everyone tried to tell him my name, but he was too young to pronounce it. He ran around for a few hours yelling RERA. We had no clue what he was saying. We thought he was just making noises. We somehow realized that he was trying to say my name. That's how ReRa got started, by a cute little boy.
A game of King's Cup gave me ChirpyChirp. We had to make a rule with one of the cards, so we had to give people nicknames when we referred to someone. I gave my friend AfroTurf. LOL! I thought it was a good one. He in turn called me ChirpyChirp. Like most small Asian girls, I have a high pitched voice. And apparently, I chirp.
And of course, the best one that has no creativity what so ever. Brettterisa. I think it was from a typo on a SF Giants ticket. Or one of my friends trying to combine me and Brett's name.

New Chapter

I've been wanting to start a blog for a while, had this account for a few months, and thought that today would be a good day to get it going. I started a new job today, and I'm very excited about it. It's more of what I want to be doing so I'm happy that I'm taking a step forward in my career. Right off the bat, there are 2 other reasons why I love this job already:
1. I get to wear jeans to work.
2. I don't have to stay with Kaiser Permanente.

Even though it's 3 months into the new year, I thought I should let everyone know what my New Year's Resolution is (besides the usual exercising and saving money thing). I will accept that I'm "cute". I know it's a compliment, but I used to dislike it and flinch when people said it. I will now happily smile and say "thank you" when someone tells me that. I have accepted that being cute is a good thing and will use it to my advantage MUHAHAHA!!!